RIP Chris Cornell

It is really hard to explain growing up in Seattle in the 90's to somebody who has not been blessed with such - I was going to say experiences, but that is so not the right word. It was a way of life... it was ingrained in your being. From house parties in West Seattle, to tailgate parties at Golden Gardens, to grunge and punk and rock bands playing in clubs all over the city, every night. It was music, parties, and coffee (and all you can eat hash browns) at The Hurricane or Beth's Cafe from 2am til you finally crawled into your cars or caught a bus home at 9 or 10am... just to wake up and do it all again.

For us, it was electrified, yet laid back. All our small time local bands that rebelled against the system? They were ours! They belonged to us before any of you ever knew about them. They would much rather be here jamming out in a dingy little club for 300 people than up on that stage for 30,000 of you! They were the guys randomly whipping out their guitars at the house parties we were at, or sitting across the table from us drinking coffee and playing spades at the Hurricane at 5am. It wasn't anything special, it was just normal. Now, looking back? It was special... And I am blessed to have been a part of it, and shaped by it.

When Kurt Cobain died, it was still early days, we were still living it, in our self absorbed little worlds. A king hadn't died. One of our own had died. We cried, we remembered him at parties or over those gallons of coffee... but seeing the responses in the media and the rest of the world? It confused us a little, I think? I mean, I still get nostalgic when Smells Like Teen Spirit comes on the radio... I might give a silent toast on the anniversary of his death, but I was not effected by his passing like the rest of the world.

So, what I am getting at is - Chris Cornell wasn't just a part of my teen-hood, we "grew up" together, so to speak. His music has been a part of my every day life for almost 30 years now... it's evolved as I have... he put out music that spoke to me then, and speaks to me now. He just wanted to make music, and no matter what he did, who he did it with, he did it proud.

He was a king. And he was ours.

Rest In Peace, Chris Cornell. You will be missed, but you will be remembered.

I admit a probably unhealthy fascination with serial killers and true crime... Growing up hearing about how Ted Bundy tried to kill my Grandma, as well as growing up in the heart of Gary Ridgeway's hunting grounds, the fascination is understandable.

But while I read these stories with almost a clinical interest, I cannot comprehend killing a group of souls because of hate and ignorance. It makes no sense to me, and it seriously breaks my heart.

I admit to a fairly high level of naivety, only recently realized, to be honest... Where I grew up, there wasn't racism, I didn't even understand what it was until I was an adult, and it literally shocked me. I mean, yes, we learned about the Civil War and Martin Luther King, so I "knew" what it was. But that was all history right? I felt joy and pride that America overcame such things. I looked at my friends, no matter what their heritage, knowing that we were the same.

But this past year, the injustices and racial tensions, hitting so hard and fast, has made me realize just how naive I have become to think we are ALL of this mind set and the realization of how much work we still need to do. I know I am still in the majority, and that's good. But it is nowhere near enough. I unfortunately don't think we can change what is ingrained into the minds of true racists. It's what they know. It's what they were taught. But it doesn't mean we should stop trying. This isn't a fight that the black community should be fighting alone, everyone faces this issue in some situation or another, to some extent, and we can only teach by example with love and compassion. I HATE the word tolerance. I can tolerate mushrooms on my pizza, but I don't like them. I do not tolerate blacks, whites, LGBT, animals, or any other difference. I embrace them. I love them. I respect them. And I admire them. 

My love and thoughts are in Charleston today. You are all so loved, and know that the majority of America is mourning with you. Those that aren't are as monstrous as the man who committed this unspeakable act.